This is originally in response to Martha's very good question: why do you say growing up in a monastery would be a drama?

Many of you here are non-monastics and I believe what you know about life of monastics mostly comes from what you either hear or read about it and may be at least from your own brief encounters.

Generally I observe two misconceptions about the life of monastics. 1. Monastics naturally live a calm, peaceful, virtuous, flawless, asocial, trouble-free life. 2. Monastics are burden to the society, they are lazy, they don't serve the society, they beg for food and depend on others.

In the first case, yes you are partly correct, because the very environment of a monastary is quite simple and less-complicated than the outside world where people do anything to make a living. In the monastary, the priority is given to prayers, studies, meditation and community works. In that sense, the life of a monastary is quite peaceful and trouble-free. In normal lay life,  you have to worry first of all about whether your boss is going to fire you or not if you are late for your job, etc, etc. Most of the week you go to work in the office from morning till evening and you feel like you are not doing it for yourself, but for others, anyway, you are compelled to do it for the sake of earning a living. There are often misunderstanding between co-workers, and etc. So it is a drama right. Well, drama can happen in monastary as well. If you look carefully, you will realize that the members of the monastics come from very different social backgrounds with different temperaments. They bring all thier previous habits and bahaviour into the community, so even after ordaination they find it difficult to deal with it. I will give an example. Just an year ago or so, there was an nun from Argentina in our community college and she was a really hot-tempered woman (I tell ya), she must have been like that even as a lay woman. I suppose that she must have become a nun, because she really had a bad relationship in her early life and somehow she is broken and entered the Order to be free from those sorrowful experiences in search of peace. But she could not really leave her previous habits. So, one day, a Chinese friend of mine was talking to her for something and to all our surprise she just shouted at him. On another occassion, she threw some rubbish to a monk and didn't even say sorry to him. And now she left, because she is in conflit with her own reason and emotions. I feel sorry for her, because I think she understands how her nature is, but she is struggling with it. There are many such cases like this that you will experience if you are living within a community, but basically it is less compared to the outside world and ofcourse there are many beautiful people in the Sangha (the spiritual community) that will help you and care about you. So when I say  that there can be dramas as well within the Sangha, please do not take it seriously, ok.  I just want you to know some of the things  you do not often hear or read, so as to give you a better picture of the life of monastics.

In the second case, I think it is mostly wrong. How is monastics burden to the society. It is rather the opposite to it. Monastics instead feel that the sociaty is an obstable (if you call it burden) to a life of peace and  spiritual practice. You can't really practice spiritual life with all your heart, if you are constantly worrying about your work, children, your payments, relatives, friends, and so on. It is true that you can work, raise family, study science, computer and make cars, air-crafts, and so on. But you have to ask yourself whether these things really lead to the peace of mind or more burden to the society. I remember clearly here in the zaaz (gaia) community I have been criticized for being monastics and being a burden to the society. My question is how am I a burden to the society or any monastics. I study, I work, I teach, I help children, I practice meditation and generosity, I talk nicely with other people, I don't go to bars, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't create problems for others...how am I being a burden to the society? I think monastics work genuinely more than others. If you look at the daily routine of monastics, some of you might be surprised. Monastics get up really early say about 4 or 5 am (depending on the temple system), then start chanting and also meditation. They cook themselves, they clean temple areas, they study most of the times, they teach and help people, they advise those social people who are with many difficulties and help them to be better human beings and so on. It seems that Buddha himself slept only an hour when he was alive and all other times, he thought about benefitting all living beings.

Let us look at what I just said earlier about people from different social backgrounds entering into monastary and with the passing of some time, they often become chief abbots in the monastary. They all have different temperament.  So the members of the Sangha is often affected by the decision of the abbot. Say for example if the chief abbot is a very rough hot-tempered monk and not a very kind-hearted person (though many are good actually comparatively), then what happens to the other monks, especially if there are small novice monks? The small monks don't have thier parents there to look after them. They don't have the capacity to think like the adults. They can't run away. So they become often the prays of such unfortunate circumstances.

Sometimes it is hard to explain a situation that others have not gone through themselves. It is easy to think about the lives of monk to be so planned out like clockwork–work, prayer, meditation, study, sleep, work, prayer, meditation, study, sleep, etc. But often the deeper sides of the circumstances are either neglected or ignored. Definitely, I encourage everyone to experience for themselves the peaceful life of the monastary with the proper guidance of a good spiritual teacher (if you are lucky). My only objection is the special consideration for the young novicecs. Just imagine a 8 years old child is being asked to follow all the rules and regulations that adults are following. I doubt that child is ready for all that. When I conventionally left home to be a monastic at that age, I literally left the physical connections of my family members and I no longer was able to experience warmth and affection that once I had from my mom, grandma and sisters. When that kid takes refuge in a group of people who don't have the same feelings as the family do, then the child naturally feels neglected. When a child is given something beyond his capacity, things that adult do, then how can he bear that much of weight. A child feels secure if someone cares for him, say a hug.

Later in my teen ofcourse I was very fortunate enough to meet my present spiritual teacher, under whose proper guidance and care, I was able to get a very good education. He really cares for me. I remember he bought for me many toys every now and then. He also took me to place like Singapore and Malaysia for visits. Still, even though I am studying at a different place, I am constantly being advised and cared. So now I believe that If all young novices had such compassionate teacher like him, I think the standard of their upbringings would drastically be improved.

Thank you!